And life goes on...

Memorial Day weekend is over! I know that is terrible to say, but it was beyond exhausting. And not to mention...Annoying since it seemed every single person that posted something on facebook was somewhere on the water this weekend. It was 97 degrees yesterday. But only 87 degrees in Mobile. Ugh. I am sure 87 felt pretty hot. But not as hot as 97.

Yesterday, I realized what has been bothering me so much lately. I have probably said "no", "stop that", "put that down", "leave that alone", "be careful", "don't drop that", etc. more so in the past week than all of Emerson's life. I randomly read parenting articles as I find something that interests me (i.e. I am not by any means researching these topics). A while ago (way before this was even an issue), I read an article about always saying "no" and trying to be a more positive parent. I really took it to heart. I try (I definitely haven't perfected this...at all) to use positive reinforcement and distraction rather than the constant "no". At our house, we have put up/removed anything that is either 1) dangerous, 2) breakable, or 3) something that we don't want played with, broken, or destroyed. It wasn't hard. We just removed it at various stages as Emerson discovered it. I would rather remove it rather than ALWAYS asking her to stop doing whatever I don't want her doing. Don't get me wrong...We are still teaching her what "no" means, but how do you teach that some things are okay and some things aren't (that look almost identical to a child)? "You can read and touch THIS book, but not that one." It doesn't make sense to me so how do I explain that to a 2 year old? It's so hard being away from home for a long period of time. Nothing is like home. We have definitely been struggling with touching things that we shouldn't this week. And on top of that naps are almost impossible (a small pack-n-play does not contain her plus it doesn't get very dark in her room), bedtime is torture, eating anything normal has been stressful, and her energy level is at all time high for some reason. I think we are all ready for us to go back to a more normal schedule/routine.

This week will be spent resting. And doing a few things "in town" (lol). I am actually excited for my doctor's appointment this week. Maybe I can actually get something out of it.

Plus, Emerson's birthday party is this Sunday! It won't be much, but we will have peanut-free cupcakes and lots of ice cream (it will apparently be very hot again)...plus just a few friends that we know in the Birmingham area. [If you are in the area and want to come, please let me know because we would love to have you.]

Tomorrow is finally June 1st! I have never been counting down the days more than right now!

36 Weeks! Today!

Yea! I made it to 36 weeks.

Okay. I am officially done now.

Baby, please hurry up and get here. Now.

Be a good boy and listen to your Mommy.

Baby Update 5.18.11 (34 Weeks & 2 Days)

I had my last appointment with the fetal specialist at USA C&W today.  I was officially released to the UAB high risk group.  It’s a really strange feeling to know that I am 34+ weeks preggo and will have nothing to do with any of my doctors again.  I fretted over finding the right OB with Emerson…And, obviously, I planned to use her this time around…  Yet now, I am within a week and a half of being “full-term” and have no primary care OB.  The fetal specialist said that I can discuss that issue with UAB when I get there…!  She said that the fetal specialist will probably just find me someone that’s available…O.M.G.  Thanks?

As for the actual appointment, my fluid was at the 28.5 range.  And the baby’s fluid looked “normal” for the baby.  That meaning…They have seen fluid on the baby the entire time, but it hasn’t been at the level of full-on panic.  Therefore, it is what they expect with a “heart baby” at this gestational age. 

As for a due date, unless something happens, I will be waiting it out until 39 weeks.  That is approximately June 20th.  Almost 1 month!

Back to life (sorta)…

I woke up in my own bed this morning!  And immediately returned to life…Getting Emerson up, fed, dressed, etc.  And then was immediately exhausted.  Plus, I think I have a pinched nerve in my back from laying around for 3 days straight.

Emerson’s last day of MDO was today.  They have an end of the year party scheduled for Thursday, but due to Emerson’s food allergies (eggs & peanuts), we stay away from all the class parties.  One of these days, she will catch on to that…

[pic coming soon]

Emerson came home DIRTY.  Phillip rarely gets to see the effects of some serious playground time.  I think he was a little surprised.  I tried to get a good picture, but she was already in the bathtub and couldn’t take her eyes off the brown dirt water just from her feet alone. 

[pic coming soon]

I also received a call from USA C&W and UAB.  I have an appointment scheduled for Tuesday, May 24th, at UAB with the high risk group.  It seems like I will be in Birmingham from that point on.  I am just unsure if I will have any more appointments during that week or not, so we may be able to come back for Memorial Day weekend (???).  UAB is taking care of finding me a primary care physician (OB) as I only have a fetal specialist up there now.  It’s just all so confusing and FRUSTRATING!

I took some time off this morning, but with my UAB appointment newly scheduled for exactly one week from today…I need to get busy.  I have quite a few things to do.  Eek. 

Current state of the nursery…(lots.still.to.do.ugh.)

[pic coming soon]

Baby Update 5.16.11 (34 Weeks)

I’m FREE!  I was finally released from the hospital today!  But not before I ate my last Pollman’s cookie (Thanks, Catherine!).

And I finally saw my fetal specialist…My doctor came in with the ultrasound tech to check on my fluid levels.  My fluid levels look “normal” (i.e. back to a decent/high range).  And then she tells me why I was there [why, oh why, can’t they just tell you up front…???].  Apparently, fluid was noticed around the baby’s heart on Friday…And that can lead to heart failure if not monitored very closely.  The fetal specialist said that there was evidence of a small amount of fluid still surrounding the heart, but she didn’t feel it was necessary to keep me in the hospital because of it.  I would see her on Wednesday mid-day sometime for a more detailed diagnostic at her clinic. 

Sometime before Wednesday, her nurse would be in contact with UAB to start scheduling appointments for possibly next week.  But first, I have a few errands to run and things to do…

Baby Update 5.15.11 (33 Weeks & 6 Days)

Hospital Stay Update:  According to the OB doctor that came in at 8am, I will be leaving tomorrow mid-day.  My fetal specialist is scheduled to come see me early tomorrow morning…And hopefully, she be releasing me with some further instructions.  (Hopefully, another week in Mobile, but possibly I need to travel north to Birmingham – only to be closer just in case…not to have a baby…I think?)

My blood pressure was 82/43 last time they checked.  It keeps getting lower…I asked the vitals nurse if that was normal and she told me that it was nothing to worry about.  According to the BP charts that I have found, it says a general rule is “normal” is below 120/80.  But for my age range (30-34), I should have a minimum of 110/77.  Hypotension seems to be rarely discussed (when googling blood pressure), but my numbers are definitely falling in that range right now…Coma and death start at 50/35. 

I had to stay on the baby monitor for a while longer this morning.  Apparently, “Bobby” was a little sleepy this morning and not doing much (even though I had just finished breakfast and a bottle of juice).  Since it was removed, I guess it was all okay for now.  [I think you get less answers in the hospital than at a normal doctor’s appointment…]

Pretty much the accommodations are the same (I did have someone bring me my pillow and 2 towels from home…that definitely helped!).  The staff has been really nice.  The food is still a wonder…And seems to be the most interesting thing going on around here. 

My dinner (from 5/14)…[I think I was put on a diet without actually being told…or someone else got hungry.]

My breakfast…[I actually got what I ordered!]

I did get to wear some sexy leg warmers (actually they are TED Hose for prevention of blood clots).  I keep removing them and being told to put them back on.  ;)  I’m a naughty patient.

I caught up on my hoarding type of shows.  It really makes me want to finish cleaning out my closets rather than sitting in this bed. 

In the meantime, Phillip was able to walk at his graduation (yea!), sleep at home (jealous), and do a bit of yard work (hehe).  Somehow, during my hospital “vaca”, our little vegetable garden grew.  I checked out these same plants on Thursday and they were just little baby vegetables…And then Phillip sent me pictures via text on Sunday morning.  Amazing!

 

And then here comes my dinner…Ummmm, I thought ordering a salad would keep the pork off my plate?  Guess not.  They are determined to make me eat pork.

Good thing is I get to go home tomorrow!  I fully expect after I have the ultrasound and see my fetal specialist that I will be released!  Wish me luck!!!  I am just hoping I have some time to get a few small things done before I have to leave home again. 

Baby Update 5.14.11 (33 Weeks & 5 Days)

Hospital Stay Update:  We have seen quite a few nurses and doctors that we have never seen before.  The only familiar face was the first ultrasound tech at the fetal specialists.  She is hard to understand (foreign), speaks very short English, and is really rough with that ultrasound wand.  I think she gives me bruises.  :(  Basically, I think they just want to ensure I am on bed rest, my vitals are staying normal consistent, the baby is “behaving” (what does that mean exactly…?), and I am getting my steroid shots.  I will officially be here until Monday when I have another ultrasound for a fluid check and hopefully see my fetal specialist.  (I do have a scheduled appointment with her on Monday at 2:30pm.)  I was moved to the high risk/recovery area at 6am this morning.  Yes, I was asleep at the time.  But I get a window (no windows in the L&D rooms apparently).

So as for the hospital stay itself, the beds in Labor & Delivery are extremely uncomfortable (probably because they aren’t real beds and break in half), the plastic pillows make my face hot, the sheets and blankets are made of burlap, the towels are about 2 feet long and 1 feet wide, there is no where to put anything as eventually some machine, food item, or person wants to use the space, and the food has been not horrific but ummmm, cold (obviously sitting there for a while) and not particularly my diet (the food was pre-chosen for me…boo).  I did eat the scrambled eggs…that weren’t touching the sausage patty. 

My dad brought me Krispy Kreme when he came to visit this morning…I don’t know if I can eat 6, but the box is already missing 1.  :)

Lunch was delivered (while I am writing this post…how appropriate!).  Ummm, did the memo get lost at the nurse’s station that I don’t eat pork (and mayo but I didn’t originally say that)?  A barbeque pork sandwich, broccoli salad (the kind with mayo and bacon), and chocolate cake.  I checked the menu options for today (that I did not receive) and these are probably the most unhealthy items anyone could self-inflict upon themselves.  Why not deliver the most healthy options if you aren’t going to give anyone a choice? 

Baby Update 5.13.11 (33 Weeks & 4 Days)

Well, I finally got my laptop up and running in my hospital room…Yep, I was admitted this morning.  My 8:30am appointment turned into – Doctor: “Take this slip of paper and go to Admitting at USA Children’s & Women.”  Me:  “Um, excuse me?”  Doctor: “Yes, you are being admitted for further tests and monitoring.”  I swear!  Puh-lease just one good appointment!

It all started with me almost walking out of the house alone.  I assumed Phillip would need to be going to work (our appointment on the previous day took all morning).  But Phillip said he would drive me to my appointment.  :)  It wasn’t supposed to take long…A quickie ultrasound and seeing my OB’s partner (my actual OB was off for the day).  Well, the ultrasound seemingly went well (I thought…Beware what they aren’t telling you…).  The fluid was down to 24+ cm and the baby is measuring 5 pounds and 9 ounces.  Wow!  I went from 33 cm to 24 cm (of course, this isn’t exact science and really depends on the baby’s position and all that)!  And the baby gained 12 ounces in 24 hours!?!?!???  (Like I said, it’s not an exact science.)  But all in all, I thought that was good news – my fluid is down and the baby’s weight is up. 

[ultrasound pic coming soon]

On to the check-up…The doctor decided to do a NST (non-stress test) just because…uh-huh.  The doctor came in to let us know that she had discussed the results with my OB via phone and they had talked to the fetal specialist as well.  I needed to go to the hospital for further testing…WHAT???  As the doctor showed me…The pictures of the abdomen are worrisome.  The bladder, stomach, and intestines are full (fluid is a dark black on ultrasounds) which is okay…Completely normal.  But once the baby releases the fluid, my fluid numbers go up.  Dang it.  There is also a dark ring around the abdomen.  It means that the baby is starting to retain fluid which is not good.  The easiest (although not necessarily the right) reason for all this is that the baby is actually absorbing my high fluid (therefore, reducing my fluid numbers and increasing his weight).  Of all the things I have read, I have never seen that the baby taking on fluid is to be expected with a heart baby.  But the doctor isn’t surprised because it is to be expected and I am close to 34 weeks.  Okay…I will believe the doctor over the wanna-be mom-docs on the internet.

So, on to USA C&W for me.  From what Phillip and I decide, I will most likely be monitored, have another ultrasound, maybe some blood work, and then possibly be sent home within a few hours to return on Monday to our already scheduled appointment with the fetal specialist…Or maybe even be sent to UAB.  Well, I was admitted to Labor and Delivery for “observation” which means that I was hooked up to 2 monitors (1 for the fetal heart rate and the other for contractions), received an IV (drama…I hate needles!), and was put on steroids to start working on the baby’s lungs and development.  This means – Staying at the hospital until Monday.  Ugghhh.  [Have I mentioned that Phillip’s MBA graduation is tomorrow at 2pm?  I helped pay for this degree…I want that smiling picture of my graduate framed and on my desk!]  Boredom set in about 10 minutes after getting in the super comfy hospital bed (cough…cough). 

My temporary home: USA Children's & Women's Hospital

A lot of crappy TV watching later and at approximately 6pm, I was finally able to talk the nurse and doctor into removing my IV (a constant slew of alarms, true arm aching pain, and wearing a towel so I didn’t pass out from looking at it…).  I can’t look directly at needles, blood, etc.  So I took a picture of my own arm with my iPhone and viewed it from there.  For whatever reason, its just not as creepy and gross. 

It’s about 8:30pm now…Still hanging out…Watching some TV.  Phillip is going to stay with me at least for tonight (he gets the super comfy couch/cot).  And I will stay here tomorrow while he walks at his graduation service.  My parents and Emerson will be looking on…taking lots of pictures for me! 

Baby Update 5.12.11

Another ultrasound, Non-Stress Test (NST), and general check-up today. My weight is the same, but my blood pressure has dropped to 80/60. I really don’t understand blood pressure, but normal for me is 100/60 it seems. The ultrasound was one of the longest we have had to date. They were really looking for some key information. I am currently 33 weeks and 3 days, but am measuring 34 weeks and 5 days. The baby is approximately 4 pounds and 13 ounces. My fluid is still high…Up to 33+ centimeters (previously my highest had been 28.4). Since there is so much fluid, we were able to flip the 4D switch on (more fluid = better pictures).

[ultrasound pic coming soon]

The ultrasound tech also focused on the baby’s breathing. At this point, the baby should be “practicing” breathing via opening their mouth, expanding their chest cavity (no matter how faint), and seemingly releasing the “air”. Our little “Bobby” was not cooperating which is a little worrisome. His heart rate and activity level was good, but no “breathing”. Ugghhh. We were told not to worry too much because babies don’t “practice” all the time (yet he should have within the 30 minute ultrasound).

The NST went well I guess. I sat there for at least 30 minutes with no baby flipping, therefore, no alarms today. The heart rate is a steady 130ish. And I was having some contractions. But with all the fluid, it is to be expected.

After all the test results were back, I saw the doctor…Basically, they wanted to call in my results to the high risk group at USA C&W (versus writing a report and faxing like usual). Uh-oh that doesn’t sound good…? And they would give me a call as soon as they knew where to go from there. Time lapse 3 hours…I receive a call from my doctor’s nurse. They need me to come back at 8:30am tomorrow morning (Friday) for another ultrasound. I guess my scheduled appointment on Monday isn’t soon enough???

Baby Update 5.9.11

I had my first of several scheduled Non-Stress Tests (NST) today.  Basically, the test meant that I laid in a recliner with 2 monitors strapped to my belly – One to measure contractions (if any) and the other to monitor the baby’s heart rate.  Basically, you want to see a reaction (the heart beat steady for the most part but also having a reaction when the baby moves or coinciding with contractions.  The non-stress part just means that you and the baby aren’t “stressed” (i.e. doing much of anything while the test is ongoing). 

I was hooked up and it was going great…Until “Bobby” decided to completely change directions mid-test.  His heartbeat dropped and an alarm went off for a good 5 minutes while they tried to figure out what was wrong.  He had just decided to flip and make things difficult.  His head was resting to my right…then completely to the opposite on my left.  I guess the high fluid makes it easy for him to do such things.  So, the test started over.  Thanks, kiddo. 

Once its over, the doctor takes a look at the long printout and that is about it.  His heart rate looks great apparently (so weird that a baby with a congenital heart defect can have a normal heart beat in utero) and I am still experiencing contractions.  My doctor just told me that I need to continue (oops.  better start then.) taking it easy (lots of completely horizontal laying down) or I might be going to Birmingham sooner rather than later…Um, approximately a week isn’t soon enough?

I have another NST on Thursday along with my weekly ultrasound and check-up.  In the meantime, I will be resting and may get in some work to the nursery.  My goal of just making it to May 14th (Phillip’s graduation!) is almost accomplished!

Happy Mother’s Day!

I spent the weekend at the beach with my parents and Emerson until this afternoon.  Phillip stayed at home to do some yard work, a few house projects, and study (only 1 more week until graduation!).  The beach was really nice.  The weather was great.  And for most of the time, Emerson was fantastic. 

Today is actually Emerson’s 23 month birthday.  She will officially be 2 years old on June 8th.  *tear* 

[pic coming soon]

Since it will most likely be my last trip to the beach for a long while (ummm, temporary move to Birmingham, having a baby, and then possibly heart surgery for “Bobby”), I decided not to take my laptop and just take a break from the world of technology…minus my iPhone…and just enjoy my time there.  But in the meantime, I found a blog via the TOF group on the BabyCenter website.  And I read it…via my iPhone...small print and all.  I still have a lot more to read but I have read quite a bit so far.  If you are interested then check it out - Precious Mason.

The parts that I have read have made me realize that I am not alone.  I am currently struggling with a lot of the unknowns.  The obvious unknown of our baby’s health…  The unknown of life in general for the next several weeks until the baby is expected to arrive.  And then the unknown of the needs of the baby after birth. 

But also the unknown of people’s reaction to the news when we do finally tell them.  I have already had the response of “What did you do?”  Knife to the heart.  I didn’t do anything differently from Emerson to “Bobby”.  I swear! 

In my mind, I see a lot of things changing without any control…And I worry about them. 

Ongoing Stress

At my last appointment with the fetal specialist, we discussed several things that may be upcoming (nothing serious – just various tests).  She said that I would see her in 2 weeks (where we would discuss a plan of action) and my OB in between for my already scheduled appointment.  I was just a little excited about the fact that I would only have 1 appointment each week for at least the next 2 weeks.  Ahhhhh.  I could take a bit of a breather!

But just a few days ago, I started playing phone tag with my OB’s nurse.  I finally talked to her in person this morning.  Basically, our fetal specialist discussed her care plan for me with my OB, and, therefore, they needed to give me my new appointment schedule.  What???  Apparently, I need to be undergoing Non-Stress Tests (NST) at least twice a week from this point on (in addition to my already scheduled appointments!).  It’s funny how scheduling these non-stress tests has all of a sudden caused me loads of stress. 

In addition, we are trying to figure out our plans for the move to Birmingham, what is the best thing for Emerson, finishing in-progress projects at home, etc.  I think back to all the things we were doing the same weekend that we checked into the hospital for Emerson’s arrival (eating at our favorite cafe for the last time as just 2, packing her baby bag, hanging her name letters, etc.)…And how we won’t be doing that this time around.  Basically, how we leave it in 2 weeks is how it will be in 10 when we return home.  And that is the most stressful thought imaginable. 

Baby Update 5.2.11

Not much new to report today, even though we saw the pediatric cardiologist AND the fetal specialist. 

Our appointment with the pediatric cardiologist was more of a consult on the results of the fetal echocardiogram (see previous post - Baby Update 4.25.11).  Basically, the doctor said it all looks pretty much the same as before and what was previously reported by UAB. 

The only change was that the blood flow velocity number went up.  We actually heard this last week as well, but we were beyond confused as to what that meant.  In my mind, I heard that the number went from 1 meter per second to 2 meters per second (velocity of blood flow through the pulmonary valve)…So to me, I took that as a good thing because the valve was open, therefore, allowing more blood to flow through (what do I know???).  And I really couldn’t understand why it was presented as a negative during the fetal echo.  But as the doctor explained, the pulmonary valve is like the end of a water hose.  And when you pinch the tip (or hold your finger on the end) essentially blocking part of the flow, the water builds and what does come out is at a faster rate than if it weren’t blocked (it’s not measuring the amount, but the velocity).  Therefore, measuring the rate of blood flow gives an idea on how much the valve is blocked.  Apparently, it’s expected that the number will get higher as the baby gets larger….The baby is growing, but the pulmonary valve is not.  This is what is called pulmonary stenosis.

So after a few questions and answers, we moved on to the fetal specialist at USA C&W.  We had another ultrasound where they measured my fluid levels and just did a general baby check.  My fluid is still high unfortunately.  And the baby checked out as expected.  The stomach and kidneys looked pretty good this time apparently (yea!).  Because my fluid is high, the doctors are concerned that the baby might have gastrointestinal problems as well, but it’s not something they see at every ultrasound so that is definitely a good sign. 

The unfortunate news came with the question…So, when do you plan to move to Birmingham?  I have just always assumed that whether expected or not, I would just be told what to do.  We had hoped to see June in Mobile, but the doctor said to be prepared to go within the week of our next appointment (which is May 16th)…Approximately 2 weeks!  She seems to be concerned that if I wait it out here, I may not make it to Birmingham for delivery.  OMG.  Total freak out mode.  We knew it was coming, but it doesn’t seem real until it’s here! 

We have laid out some plans for our long stay in Birmingham, but had planned for it to start around early to mid-June.  But now that I need to be there beforehand (just for location purposes) and will still be on bed rest, it really changes things.  We can’t expect everyone around us to change their lives for possibly 5 weeks of just waiting for “Bobby”.  Personally, I will be unable to “rest” with Emerson by my side (a two year-old and rest don’t really mesh) and I am unsure as to the burden of housing just me (especially if I am just the lump on the couch).  Stress!!!

Our Weekend

This bed rest thing isn’t really a lot of “rest”.  I spent most of Saturday cleaning out the nursery and throwing item after item in the donate boxes.  Meanwhile, Emerson completely destroyed the rest of the house (it only takes a matter of minutes).  Plus, Emerson had her weekly Little Gym class.  Here is our future Olympian on the balance beam… 

Our Sunday was spent actually cleaning the nursery (you know…the wiping down of baseboards, vacuuming, windows, etc.) and then we started locating the baby stuff that is all over the house.  And since the weather was nice enough, we spent some time at Malbis…Emerson, of course, played in the splash pad (and the adults did not enjoy snow cones…haha).

Amongst all the fun and games, Phillip had a group project meeting (for his MBA) on both Saturday and Sunday…!  I know he is excited that it is almost over, but he can’t even be half as excited as I will be!  Graduation on May 14th can’t get here soon enough!